Tough Decisions

In my community is the only state certified child care home for medically fragile children! All of William's terrific therapists go there to work with children. A few months back the Occupational therapist, whom I trust and respect, handed me a information folder and application. I told her I was not looking to have care outside the home and put the folder on my crowded bookshelf.  I trusted her judgment that is was a wonderful place but was just not ready yet.

Recently a friend of mine called to tell me of her wonderful experience leaving her son there one day a week so she can work and spend time with her older daughter.  She encouraged me to visit and I did not; I told her I was fine and I had the help of my mother.  

This month my mom has been working everyday and I have been without help more often.  My mom is terrific and she comes to help when I ask and schedule it with her in advance. So I began to think that it would be nice having more help and not having to relay solely on my mom. I called Daystar and scheduled  a visit. It was not at all what I had imagined or expected. The house was on a cozy little street in a quite neighborhood.  Inside the house was beautifully decorated and completely kid friendly. I was given a tour and met many friendly women who seemed very devoted to the children they serve. Many were certified nurses.  It was truly a unique place that I want to be part of.  Now the question is can I leave William there for one day a week without judging myself harshly? Usually the home has a waiting list but I was told that many children were graduating and I could pick any day of the week! I would love to have time to get errands done and time alone with Ella.  It would be wonderful for Ella to have mommy time but I am not sure if I can leave William for an entire day in someone else's care besides my moms? Now I have some tough decisions to make!!!