Late Summer and early Fall have passed in a whirlwind. I can't seem to catch my breath.... and I am told by friends with older children that it only gets busier; more commitments and running around. Not to mention that at some point in the near future this mommy has to go back to work. Where, when, what; all those W's I haven't figured out yet but living off of one income these days is nearly impossible!!! So even when I am not physically running around my mind seems to be spinning. You know those nights that you head to bed with good intentions of sleeping and only toss and turn; stare at the ceiling.... stare at your husband... just stare while your mind won't shut off....
I can't even remember if I was like this before kids. The BEFORE KIDS seems blurry. I suppose I have always been restless. Yes, it has always been hard to quiet my mind and relax; whether it's worry or daydreaming.
These days I have plenty to worry about and I do try to find some things to anticipate and look forward to. Of course I look forward to each and every day with my kids. Even if the day before was a hair-raiser (like today)... with myself feeling a little under the weather (again), a punchy and very defiant typical three year old, and a half asleep when-not- seizing William love.... anyone's patience could be worn thin. I am waiting on Strong hospital to mail a stack of genetic testing forms to review before more blood draws for Will man. We have a new list of x-linked syndromes to test for; which of course may eventually lead to testing my x chromosomes. I am also waiting for a dietician at Strong to call about starting the Ketogenic diet (for seizures). William's seizures have been getting considerably worse and he is on the max dosages for all three medicines. So I am starting to look at other alternatives before adding more meds to the mix. I say "waiting" but I have actually left several messages for this dietician. She must not know what it's like to watch your child seize multiple times a day and to feel the near constant sense of urgency and helplessness that I do.
As a mom of twins; I must equally represent both ;-) Ella is doing well in her pre-school class. Initially she had a difficult time leaving me but has now made a few friends and waves goodbye like a pro. Some of you might know that I had her evaluated for speech a year or so ago. My concern was always articulation which is addressed in preschool rather than EI in some cases. I still feel pretty strongly that she could benefit from speech and think she may be getting frustrated due to her teachers not being able to understand her. Other than that she is happy, full of imagination, wonder and always on the move :-) She has struggled a bit adjusting to all of William's new therapists. Every afternoon he has one or more therapies and the providers are all new to us. So far though William seems to like and do well with all of them.
As for myself and catching a breath; I am very fortunate to have my family. My mom loves to watch the twins and this past weekend I got a much needed break. A delicious dinner out and a quiet night of sleep can make a world of difference. Especially when followed by brunch and lots of coffee at my favorite diner the New Yorker. So I would like to end this blog post on a positive note. Cheers to super Grandma's that help in times of need; give us some down time to catch our breath and regroup; to see that we are truly blessed with a beautiful family.
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